My Darling Chico,
You have been away from me for nearly 2 years now at war. I
simply can't believe you've been away that long. It's also been so long since
I've heard from you. I miss you so much. We parted on our wedding day and I
relive those last moments together as if they exist outside of time. I wonder
how you are and pray to God that you will return home soon. I long for you to
hold me in your arms. So many moments of our short life together come flooding
back to me. I woke up on the street that day to you holding a violet over my
face to wake me up. Words can’t express how much I wanted you to take me in
your arms and carry me away to safety. I had hardly met you but quickly I knew
you were something special. You so selflessly gave of yourself to me, saving my
life, when even I didn’t think it worth saving. Claiming me as your wife to
keep me from going to jail..... I could tell you had a good heart right from
the start and I knew we were meant to be.
The moment we entered the building where you lived that
evening and we began ascending level by level up to your flat, my heart raced
with anticipation to when I’d arrive in your place. We just kept ascending as
if we’d go through the clouds. I wanted to go higher and higher and let the
world drift away and be only with you. If only you knew the joy that you
brought me as we entered into a new world together. You believed in life and
its possibilities and it made me so excited. That night I undressed in your
room and slipped into your bed while you were outside. I secretly wanted you to
be near me and hold me close and tender. I hoped you would come into bed with
me after you removed your pants and shirt. I peeked over the covers as you were
undressing and saw your bare chest and it made my body flush. I wanted your
body to lie next to mine and feel your skin against mine. I got up to peek
around the corner and you were just so cute and sweet to be lying on the
balcony. It was a rush of affection and joy through my body just to know that
you respected me that way even though I was desperate for your warmth.
But now my dear I am beyond desperate. I haven’t seen you in
so long and I long to feel your hands caress my hair and cheek, to feel your
kiss on my lips, and to feel your body press against mine. Every moment I’m
away from you is so hard. Every minute that passes without you near me is
endless. I will simply die if you do not come back to me. Life cannot continue
on this way without you. I have shed so many tears for you that I feel all of
my tears have dried up and I am empty. Now my body aches and my eyes hurt every
time I think of you. The tears will simply not flow and I am overcome by a
black emptiness covering over me for which there is no respite.
When I came to you on the balcony dressed in my wedding
dress I felt so glorious….and then you told me that you loved me for the first
time. I was so happy. You remember how happy I was? I was so happy! And then I
heard the sound of soldiers in the street. I didn’t want this to break us
apart, but I tried to be strong for the both of us. And then you picked me up
and kissed me and held me so close to you for so long and you were so strong
holding me and I whispered things in your ear. And I wanted you to take me to
bed right then and there. It was the most glorious and romantic moment of my
life to be in your embrace. When you told me you wanted to marry me at that
moment I was overcome with joy and feeling. I wanted us to be one, to be man
and woman for eternity. We placed the necklaces over each other and promised to
be true forever. I cherish that moment and the neckless hangs from my neck and
dangles between my breasts this very moment. Come back to me Chico. Please with
all your might come back to me my husband. You parted from me at 11am. And I
think of you as if you were touching me and talking to me every day at 11am and
I chant your name over and over and over again and speak to you out there
wherever you are. If only you could be here with me. I can’t bear to think of
where you are or what kind of danger you are in. I simply can’t begin to
believe how awful it must be for you and how much you must be longing to touch
me and be back here in our little heaven. I truly wish God’s angels to be
surrounding you and protecting you. Believe me when I tell you we are shoulder
to shoulder my love. I am working hard each day at the munitions factory.
Somehow it helps to pass the time and I think that if I work hard enough it
will bring you back to me.
Oh my dearest Chico I must finish this letter as it is late
and tomorrow I must be at the munitions factory at dawn. Please write to me
Chico. I miss you so desperately and I am being strong for you but I need you
to return soon. I know that you will return to me and I believe with all my
heart that this day will come soon for us. And on that day when you return to me
oh how the glories of heaven will resound when we are rejoined. You must
believe Chico. You must believe that our Love will bring you through any and
all odds and nothing will keep us apart. Not even hell’s fury itself will be
allowed to touch you. Our love is pure and true and righteous and I just know
and believe that you will return. Please Chico….please return home soon.
I love you. I love you. I love you.
Diane
